Sorry in Advance

Vomit Soaked Womenswear

Posted in Regulars by nwlipton on November 3, 2008

The last time I was in New York City I saw many strange things. That is what staying out too late will get you in such a magical place. Here is one of my favorite moments:

I was riding the 6th train north from Union Square to some place uptown. 

This lady in the train with me was beautiful. Model type. Total east coast.

She had a long and colorful summer-dress on. Great idea to avoid the NYC heat.  

Opposite to her was this dirty old guy. Fat, but not really fat. Belly slightly protruding from his shirt, he swayed back and forth barely able to hold onto the pole in the middle of the traincar.

His face looked funny. Like he had a mouth full of food. He was really sweaty as well. He looked gross, like a monster had impregnated him or some other sci-fi situation that leaves humans sweaty and full.

Then he vomited on her. Three full blown jets. It was an awkward white slime. It must have been drug endused, possibly mixed with a disease. I’m unsure, I never went to med-school.

The pretty lady screamed. As would you. She was now covered in puke, and very alone in the front of the traincar. 

Everyone else got off, including Mr. Vomitface. I then waved at her, gave her a, “Sorry Lady.” smile, and walked off. 

She rode home alone.

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